The Car Door That Wouldn’t Shut | Coping vs Repair

The car door that wouldn’t shut - and why holding things together isn’t the same as feeling safe. A real look at coping vs repair.

Did I ever tell you about the time I drove home with my car door tied shut with a cloth?

The lock had snapped.

The door wouldn’t close.

I pushed it.
Tried again.
Different angle.

Nothing.

So I wrapped a cloth around both doors
and wound the windows up to wedge it in place.

It held.

But the whole drive home…

I wasn’t in it.

Every bump
I heard it knock.

Every corner
I slowed down.

Listening.

Waiting.

Halfway home
I pulled over
and tightened it again.

Because it was already starting to give.

From the outside
nothing looked wrong.

But inside…

I knew it wasn’t fixed.

And then I noticed the light.

The interior light was still on.

Normally it switches off by itself.

You close the door
and it just… happens.

But now it didn’t.

So I had to turn it off.

Because if I didn’t
it would just stay on

quietly

running in the background

until the battery died.

……………………………………

You don’t think about it like that.

You just…

adjust.

Sit down
then get back up again.

Turn something off
before it gets too much.

Keep things moving
so nothing tips.

Stay just enough in control
that nothing spills.

From the outside
it all looks fine.

But you know.

You can feel it
in the way you don’t quite land anywhere.

In how quickly you move
before anything settles.

In how nothing fully finishes.

So you keep it held.

Tighten things
when they start to slip.

Switch things off
so they don’t drain you.

Keep going.

Because it works.

It holds.

…………………………………

Until it doesn’t.

If this feels familiar,
it’s not something you think your way out of.

It’s something your system needs to experience differently.

That’s where I start with people.

Not trying to change everything.

Not going deep straight away.

Just creating the conditions
where you can actually stay
without pulling yourself back out.

You can read more about stabilisation sessions here
if you want to see what that looks like.

Categories: : Somatic Practices